18 Aug

It looks like the writing might be helping me with the depression. I have only written two posts and already I am starting to lose interest in expressing my depression.

Until the lonely nights come. My husband is out of town. I am here with the kid by myself. Even though I haven’t been in the desperate state I was in when I started this blog, I know that so many of my actions are counter productive to healing and yet I can’t stop them.

So, the husband isn’t here but instead of taking advantage of it and organizing something fun to do , I chose to sequester myself away. I didn’t engage my ‘friends’. I took my night and said its worthless so why try to make it worthwhile.

A week of feeling better. A week of not wanting to write. I was laying in bed when I felt the hopelessness hit me like a punch from Mohammad Ali. The tears welled up in my eyes and I forced the shakes back.

Because I was aware that the writing had released some of the depression infection, I arose from my bed to release a bit more. May this writing remove these thoughts from my head and let me have peace enough to sleep tonight.


One Response to “Writing”

  1. Angie Bee August 19, 2012 at 3:49 am #

    writing is very cathartic. I have MS and one of the main symptoms is depression. Its as if a black blanket were squeezing me too tight. I believe that much of it is physiological and hormonal. I am 35 and wonder if this is perimenepause starting to rear its ugly head. Regardless, I find that keeping busy and having particular things to keep my mind busy helps. On the nights when I have insomnia I play angry birds on my ipad and always have a book to read. Blogging is helpful too. I wish you the best. You are not alone. get some good plans in place to fall back on when the depression hits so you can wade through it.

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