Writing

18 Aug

It looks like the writing might be helping me with the depression. I have only written two posts and already I am starting to lose interest in expressing my depression.

Until the lonely nights come. My husband is out of town. I am here with the kid by myself. Even though I haven’t been in the desperate state I was in when I started this blog, I know that so many of my actions are counter productive to healing and yet I can’t stop them.

So, the husband isn’t here but instead of taking advantage of it and organizing something fun to do , I chose to sequester myself away. I didn’t engage my ‘friends’. I took my night and said its worthless so why try to make it worthwhile.

A week of feeling better. A week of not wanting to write. I was laying in bed when I felt the hopelessness hit me like a punch from Mohammad Ali. The tears welled up in my eyes and I forced the shakes back.

Because I was aware that the writing had released some of the depression infection, I arose from my bed to release a bit more. May this writing remove these thoughts from my head and let me have peace enough to sleep tonight.

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One Response to “Writing”

  1. Angie Bee August 19, 2012 at 3:49 am #

    writing is very cathartic. I have MS and one of the main symptoms is depression. Its as if a black blanket were squeezing me too tight. I believe that much of it is physiological and hormonal. I am 35 and wonder if this is perimenepause starting to rear its ugly head. Regardless, I find that keeping busy and having particular things to keep my mind busy helps. On the nights when I have insomnia I play angry birds on my ipad and always have a book to read. Blogging is helpful too. I wish you the best. You are not alone. get some good plans in place to fall back on when the depression hits so you can wade through it.
    hugs,
    Angie

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